The Wannabe

Feminine hygiene product jokes aside…

I actually met someone today who wanted one of Apple’s new iPad’s. It was one of those situations where the other person is thinking the exact opposite of you but their words are ambiguous.

Them: Oh my god, can you believe the new iPad that Apple is releasing?
Me: I know! What a piece of shit! What were they thinking?!
Them: What?! It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!

I take solace knowing that this is the first person I’ve spoken to face-to-face since its announcement that actually disagreed with me. I just don’t understand a device like this. It’s nothing more than a content delivery device, except the content that it’s capable of delivering is expensive and restrictive, while at the same time being free and freely available to anyone NOT using it. When did people start wanting to pay for things they can get for free? Movies, music, games, TV shows, and all other media can be obtained absolutely free of charge, and yet Apple is not only trying to make you pay for it, but they’re also trying to make you pay for the device that delivers it. It’s ludicrous!

For clarification, I’m not referring to illegally-obtained content. I’ve passed that phase of my life and have joined the anti-piracy ranks. If you want something that someone else is selling, you have to pay the price they’re asking. If you think they’re asking too much, don’t buy it. It’s just that simple. Fortunately, these days, content providers aren’t asking that much. Services like Lala.com and Pandora let you listen to music for free. You can watch TV and movies for free through Hulu and just about every major broadcast network posts full episodes of their shows to watch online. Flash-based games are all over the internet in every genre you can imagine. It’s the same exact content that Apple is trying to sell you, only it’s free and can be used without a special device!

Let me put this in perspective. TV is free. I can go out and purchase any television I choose, hook it up to a digital antenna, and get about eight channels of free HD television with remarkably good quality. If I want more than eight channels with better quality and more reliability, Comcast has a “digital economy” package that gets me 50 HD channels for $35 per month. That’s the regular price, not some temporary introduction price, and dirt cheap compared to buying the HD episodes through iTunes at $3 each.

If I want movies, I can borrow one from a friend for free, or for only $8.99 per month I can get eight to ten movies by mail (including delivery time) and unlimited access to streaming movies through Netflix. For that price you could maybe rent three movies through iTunes. If I want to play video games I’ve got my choice of new systems like a Wii or xBox or PS3, or I can get on eBay and pick up an older system like a Super Nintendo or a Sega Genesis (with seemingly the same quality of graphics as many iPhone games). Keep in mind that all of this can be done with practically every TV sold in the last decade.

However, what Apple has done with the iPad is the equivalent of a TV manufacturer deciding that they don’t want people watching anything on their televisions that wasn’t purchased directly through them. You buy their televisions at the same price that you’d pay for a regular TV, but instead of being able to hook up an antenna or subscribe to Comcast or rent Netflix movies, you’ve got to pay this company for every single individual TV show and movie you decide to watch. You can play games, but only the games that they sell. There’s some free content, but it’s limited, so you can watch the anchors read the news, but you can’t watch any of the video clips. You can’t borrow movies or games from a friend, nor can you lend anything to them. Essentially, unless it’s approved and sold by the manufacturer, you can’t use it on their TV.  That’s what the iPad is.  That’s what Apple has created and marketed as “magical” and “revolutionary.”

Do people really think this is a a good idea?!  What possible reason could people have to want to let Apple install a content store in their homes? It seems to me that we’ve become so driven by media consumption that we can no longer tell when we’re being ripped off.  Are there really enough people out there with enough disposable income to purchase every song and movie and TV show and game they want through iTunes? Even if there are, they either don’t know or don’t care that practically the same content can be obtained for free or at least for much less than the price Apple is charging. Don’t misunderstand me. The iPad certainly LOOKS stylish. It’s light-weight with a long battery life and a beautiful display.  I can easily envision myself loading it up with movies to watch on the plane ride to Tokyo next year.  It’s an appealing thought, but until it’s open enough to view whatever content I’d like, to include the ability to install any browser plug-in I choose (you know, like I can with every other computer in the world), then it’s really nothing more than an expensive way to give Apple more of your money. The iPad might as well be a well-designed $500 envelope for you to send money to Apple, stamp not included.