Why is it that some things are so easy to buy and some things are so difficult? Earlier this week I walked into a Target to buy a blender. I browsed the aisle for a minute or two, selected the blender I wanted, checked the price tag, paid for it, and I was done. That was it. Easy. Compare that experience to my attempt to order pizza last week.
I was having a quiet evening in with just myself and decided that I was too lazy to cook. I had heard something about Domino’s having a new pizza recipe so I decided to give it a try. I called them up and a gentlemen answered the phone and asked what he could get for me. I didn’t need much, so I asked for the price of a medium two-topping pizza. $12.99, I was told. Having ordered many a pizza in the past, that seemed a little high. I can recall times when I’ve purchased as many as three pizzas for less than $15.
I should take a moment to explain that I’m not a pizza connoisseur. I have never in my life tasted a pizza, that I’ve purchased from a reputable pizza establishment, that I didn’t like. Certainly there’s some pizza that’s better - much better - than others, but I tend to think of the taste scale for pizza as starting with good and moving up. Bad pizza just isn’t something I’ve ever experienced.
So not wanting to spend that much, I asked a question that I’ve always assumed was a standard question when ordering pizza. ”Do you have any specials right now?” I was a little taken aback when the answer I received was, “Well what are you looking for?” Was this person just lazy and didn’t want to read off the specials, or were there just so many specials that he couldn’t possibly read them all off in a timely manner? Either option seemed unacceptable to me. Regardless, was it not obvious what I was looking for? I had just asked for the price of a medium two-topping pizza, and was clearly unsatisfied with the answer or I wouldn’t have asked for the specials. I wasn’t in his shoes, but I’d like to think that if I was, I could conclude that my customer was looking for the best price he could get on something resembling a medium two-topping pizza.
Clearly, this person did not make that connection, so I answered his question with, “I’m looking for the best price I can get on a medium two-topping pizza.” He answered that they didn’t have any specials on medium two-topping pizzas, and then instead of volunteering what specials they did have that might get me close to what I wanted, he paused and waited for my response.
I was getting frustrated, and it was only made worse by the fact that I could tell he was getting frustrated as well. This was his job. With no menu in front of me, this person was my only link to the products that his establishment was selling. Did he really expect every customer who called in to automatically know what they wanted?
I made things more clear for him. ”Can you please tell me all of the specials you have for one pizza?” He replied, “We’ve got one large two-topping and an order of wings for $15.99.” And then he paused again. Seriously? There was one special right now involving one pizza? At least I had my answer to whether or not he was lazy. I was angry now. I thought my use of the phrase, “best price” implied that I was looking to spend less than 12.99.
My approach wasn’t working, so I tried something new. ”Ok, what’s the most pizza I can get for less than $12.99?” ”Well, we’ve got a special for two medium two-topping pizzas for $11.99.” GAH! It took every ounce of will-power I had in my body not to yell at him. My very first question was for the price of a medium two-topping pizza and the price I was quoted was $12.99. And yet for some reason I was forced to jump through hoops to find out that I could get two medium two-topping pizzas for $1 less than the price of one?! I’m sorry, but that’s intentionally deceptive. If the special price for two pizzas is less than the regular price of a single pizza, don’t offer the single pizza as an option to your customers! If someone inquires about a single pizza, let them know about the special. And if some customer happens to call in and say that they don’t want the second pizza, charge them the price of the special and just give them one!
Here’s how the conversation should have gone:
Him: Thank you for calling Domino’s, what can I get for you?
Me: How much is a medium two-topping pizza?
Him: Regularly it’s $12.99 but we have a special right now and you can get two for $11.99.
Me: Great, I’ll take it!
Was that so hard?
