Comments on: Devil’s Advocate http://nothing.aviewofthewoods.com/2007/08/30/devils-advocate/ Changing my mind more often than I change my son's diaper Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:23:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Web http://nothing.aviewofthewoods.com/2007/08/30/devils-advocate/#comment-475 Web Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:19:36 +0000 http://wannabe.aviewofthewoods.com/2007/08/30/devils-advocate/#comment-475 "But looking back at my childhood, I have to wonder why parents like mine teach their kids to not care what other people think of them. "....My mom did the same thing. She would say don't listent to what they are saying when the other kids were being cruel. Give your mom credit where it belongs. She did this to make you feel better about yourself. She did this to try to protect you from the hurt and pain. She was trying to tell you that you are worth something no matter what others thought. It's not called being selfish. It's called drying the tears of your child when he/she comes home crying because someone threw a spit wad at them because they were wearing second hand clothes. "that I was an individual capable of making up my own mind and not following the crowd..." Remember what your mom said to you when your own child comes home from school after the school bully makes fun of him. Do you encourage him to surrender to the school bullies way of thinking or do you encourage him to be his own person? Look at all the famous people who didn't conform and how successful they are. Conforming because you want to and conforming because of bullying tactics are two seperate things. Trying to say something to increase your childs self esteem and dry their tears is better than no advice at all. Instead of bashing the person who said this to you, you really should thank them. For would you be the person you are today with a family and decent job without those words? I hope you are prepared for your own childs tears from the school bullies. “But looking back at my childhood, I have to wonder why parents like mine teach their kids to not care what other people think of them. “….My mom did the same thing. She would say don’t listent to what they are saying when the other kids were being cruel. Give your mom credit where it belongs. She did this to make you feel better about yourself. She did this to try to protect you from the hurt and pain. She was trying to tell you that you are worth something no matter what others thought. It’s not called being selfish. It’s called drying the tears of your child when he/she comes home crying because someone threw a spit wad at them because they were wearing second hand clothes.
“that I was an individual capable of making up my own mind and not following the crowd…” Remember what your mom said to you when your own child comes home from school after the school bully makes fun of him. Do you encourage him to surrender to the school bullies way of thinking or do you encourage him to be his own person? Look at all the famous people who didn’t conform and how successful they are. Conforming because you want to and conforming because of bullying tactics are two seperate things. Trying to say something to increase your childs self esteem and dry their tears is better than no advice at all. Instead of bashing the person who said this to you, you really should thank them. For would you be the person you are today with a family and decent job without those words? I hope you are prepared for your own childs tears from the school bullies.

]]> By: sonia http://nothing.aviewofthewoods.com/2007/08/30/devils-advocate/#comment-47 sonia Thu, 30 Aug 2007 20:02:00 +0000 http://wannabe.aviewofthewoods.com/2007/08/30/devils-advocate/#comment-47 I always thought that the weird kids who wore what they wanted and never tried to be a part of the mainstream because they heard somewhere that it is better to be your own person were just torturing themselves in the present but that they would be redeemed in the future for being true to themselves. Then I grew up and saw these kids as adults. Some of them are quite well-rounded, fitting nicely into society, lots of friends, still independent thinkers. Some are not. Some are obstensively dedicated to their own very weird, very specific lifestyles and opinions that they end up alienating everyone around them. These are the people I try to avoid. Maybe a lot of people try to avoid them too. But then the internet was invented. And all these very weird people spread across the globe found a place to be selfishly concerned with their own weirdness together. So all their selfishness is once-again justified. dammit! I worry about my children being tortured too. The more I think about all the crap I went through in school the more I want to try to figure out a million ways to save my children the trouble. But it's for the best. Popular or weird they will have good days and bad, no matter how much they conform or are independent. It's almost completely out of our hands. So try not to worry so much. I always thought that the weird kids who wore what they wanted and never tried to be a part of the mainstream because they heard somewhere that it is better to be your own person were just torturing themselves in the present but that they would be redeemed in the future for being true to themselves.

Then I grew up and saw these kids as adults. Some of them are quite well-rounded, fitting nicely into society, lots of friends, still independent thinkers. Some are not.

Some are obstensively dedicated to their own very weird, very specific lifestyles and opinions that they end up alienating everyone around them. These are the people I try to avoid. Maybe a lot of people try to avoid them too.

But then the internet was invented. And all these very weird people spread across the globe found a place to be selfishly concerned with their own weirdness together. So all their selfishness is once-again justified. dammit!

I worry about my children being tortured too. The more I think about all the crap I went through in school the more I want to try to figure out a million ways to save my children the trouble. But it’s for the best. Popular or weird they will have good days and bad, no matter how much they conform or are independent. It’s almost completely out of our hands. So try not to worry so much.

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