The Wannabe

Normally I’m not one to follow celebrity news, let alone pass it along. But in this case, I’ve been compelled to do so. For those who don’t know, Paris Hilton went to jail to serve a 45 day sentence (I’m not sure why). Then, three days later, she got released from jail. People were outraged! But today, Paris Hilton was picked up by the police and sent back to jail to serve the remainder of her sentence. It’s been reported that when the judge sent her back to prison she screamed, “It’s not right!” I have to agree with her.

Before I continue, let me tell you a story. I’ve served in the Marines and when I only had three months left in my contract I was sent to war. I spent four months in the deserts of Iraq right at the beginning of the war. My unit was supposed to spend six months there, but one evening I was approached by my commanding officer and told that I had ten minutes to pack up and get on a truck that was heading out of Iraq. Because I was so close to the end of my contract I was being sent home early!!! If I remember correctly, I was packed and in the truck in less than five minutes. I even forgot a whole box of my stuff because I was so excited and moving so fast.

I spent the evening travelling back to Kuwait to the camp I had stayed at when first arriving in the Middle East. Our flight home wasn’t supposed to leave until the following evening so I had roughly 24 hours to wait. I found a satellite phone and called my wife to let her know I was coming home and then sat in the tent and waited. And that’s when it happened. A gunnery sergeant entered the tent and asked to speak to me outside. I followed him out and was told that it was likely that my name being on the list was a mistake. He said that rather than going home, he believed that I was just supposed to be part of the escort for the caravan. He said he was still waiting for official word, but that I was to wait in the tent for him to return and I should be prepared to go back to Iraq.

That moment was the scariest moment of my life. I had emotionally prepared myself for going home! In my mind, I was already free from the prison of war and on my way home to see my wife! Ten thousand thoughts raced through my mind as I struggled to come to terms with the reality that I was going back to war and I found myself unable to accept it. I thought about hiding so that he couldn’t find me again. I thought about faking injury or illness so they’d have to send me home. For a brief moment I even considered refusing to go back to Iraq, preferring to spend years in jail at home than another day in a war I had already emotionally escaped from.

Looking back, these thoughts now seem very strange to me. I had previously prepared myself for my six month tour. I was ready and willing to spend my full time there with my unit. And yet, somehow being told I was going home early only to be told that that was a mistake, made staying at war so much worse. It was like giving candy to a child and then taking it away as soon as he’s got it unwrapped. The child’s content before he knows about the candy because he doesn’t have any candy to lose. But once he’s held it in his hands and thought about how sweet it’s going to be, losing it is unbearable and having it taken away is almost a crime!

In Iraq, I was content with staying at war because I wasn’t expecting freedom. When my freedom was finally given to me, I felt joy and peace like I had never felt before. But when I was told that I had to go back to war, I was devastated! I had been given something valuable, something that meant so much to me, and it was being taken away. I would have been happier had I just stayed at war and not had this cruel joke played on me. In the end, I was sent home that day. I stayed in my tent as I had been instructed and the gunnery sergeant had not returned. When we packed up to get on the bus to the airport, my name was on the list of those who were heading home. I was free.

Ms. Hilton is not so lucky. My experience gives me a unique perspective on the situation. I can say with some certainty that most people don’t know the pain of losing their freedom once, let alone losing it twice. Only those who have lost their freedom and been given it back know how sweet freedom is. Only those who have had to face losing their freedom for a second time know that the second time is far worse than the first and that there’s no pain that equals it. I sympathize with Ms. Hilton. She is one of the few who has had to experience losing her freedom for that second time. I know that there are many who would disagree, but I doubt that there are many who truly understand.

It should be noted that, like everybody else, I really don’t know the circumstances under which she was released. That may very well be an important factor in all this. I should also say that I believe the correct course of action would have been for Ms. Hilton to have served her full sentence. If she was guilty of a crime, she needs to be punished for that crime, regardless of her celebrity status. Nevertheless, releasing her from prison only to send her back again is not right.